Sunday brings us the final match of the 2010 World Cup, a contest between The Netherlands and Spain to decide which nation is the raddest on all of Spaceship Earth. I’m no history buff, and I usually recoil at the mere hint of hyperbole, but I feel comfortable proclaiming to the e-masses this is probably The Most Important Thing That Has Ever Happened. Especially once you consider how scientists are universally predicting the world will end in 2012, you see can this game will probably be humanity’s last hurrah, unless Michigan can find a way to knock off Ohio State sometime in the next eighteen months (I know, right?).
But seriously, this is gonna be great. Here we have the undisputed Two Best Soccer Playing Nations That Have Never Won A World Cup, or however Alexei Lalas is gonna repeatedly phrase it. Two powers from the Old Continent, 90 minutes from immortality, an immortality sure to rendered meaningless by the impending apocalypse, but whatever, I imagine you’d still want to win.
What I’m trying to say here is, you should watch this game. There’s not going to be anything else on TV, anyway. Unless AMC is doing another Mad Men marathon. In which case, you should DVR the Jet Set episode if they show it. I love that one.
Anyway, you’re going to watch the game. Now I’m going to tell you what I think will happen, and you should listen to me because my predictions are sometimes correct, like the time I said France is my dark horse team, and I have a password to this site now, and you’ve come this far so why not?
First, we playbill. Let’s meet our cast of characters, complete with a highly scientific 0-10 Scale of Radness. Please forgive me if I seem overly generous in my grades, but this matchup features some of the raddest players from prestigious clubs like Arsenal, Liverpool, Bayern Munich, and Inter Milan, not to mention the best goalie in the world and a host of rad dudes from Barcelona. Here’s a look at the players, sector by sector.
Dutch Forwards Read more »

I thoroughly enjoy sports for many reasons, but probably the most prominent is the raw emotion they evoke. Certain events do this better than others and the World Cup is right at the top of the list for me. When I undertook the task of recapping the USMNT’s run through the tournament, I thought about the single most striking aspect of the two weeks they spent in South Africa. There are plenty of stories: Landon Donovan’s true breakthrough, successful auditions for major clubs from guys like Dempsey and Bradley, the early goals, the thrilling comebacks. However, the emotions are what will stick with me from this World Cup.


