I don’t know about you, but it seems to me like it’s been 30 years since I’ve watched a relevant football game. 30 years of anticipation and excitement. 30 years of filling up the coin jar for the BOOKING of future bets. That’s a lot of coin. I probably could buy a boat or pay off student loans, but I find sports betting much more fun. And what’s more fun than watching your bets come to fruition on a recently donated (storing for a friend), 62 inch flat-screen that takes up half of your garage! AMIRITE?
Just to remind you, my cup of tea for sportz bettingz is the Parlay action. I’m poor, I work for a stingy old bridge owner who pays jack shiat, and I own a home in metro Detroit worth 40% of the mortgage. Of course I’m going to take $5 bets to win $1,500. That’s what poor desperate people do in times of struggle. Why else are the lines out the door to buy lotto tickets in the ghetto?
Back to football. The first games of the collegiate season are typically littered with one-sided surprise butt sexing games hosted by major programs, but here and there you can find some gems kicking off the season. Both styles of games are good for betting, parlay or otherwise. In your typical blowout, say when a team like OSU goes up against Matthew Maconahay’s Marshall, giving 28.5 points. You have to wonder if Sweater-vest w/ a short sleeve dress shirt (cause it’s hot out) will cover that spread with a hyped up Miami team visiting the following weekend. I submit that he will NOT! DERP. Or in a quality game like Uconn @ MICH, will the Over/Under line be set for a traditional UofM defense and boring offense, or will it be raised due to a depleted defensive backfield and quick scoring spread offense? 54 is low considering Denard Robinson (MICH) will average 8 TD’s per game alone.
Blowout Picks:
#4 Texas -30.5 (57) @ RICE: With the loss of McCoy & Shiply(sp?) to Texas and the addition of Samuel McGuffie to Rice, this one could be a easy double down. Texas has covered the spread the last 4 match ups as well as 7 of the last 10. The OVER is what Rice is famous for. The OVER is 17-4 for Rice in September games. I’m booking BOTH! TX -30.5 & OVER
San Jose State +37.5 (51.5) @ #1 Alabama: Number one team in the nation with a top defense going up against a school like this is an easy lock. Because their running threat Mark Ingram is out with an injury, it doesn’t mean they won’t score a lot or WILL pass more. What they will do is shut down San Jose and keep it under 51. The final outcome may be something like 38 – 10 or 42-3 Bama. UNDER 51.5 This is now making me nervous after the O$U and U$C games. But, U$C sewks at defense apparently.
Tight Games:
#21 LSU -6.5 (42) vs. #18 North Carolina (in Atlanta): This one is being played at a neutral site, 525 miles from LSU and 380 miles from UNC. You’d expect more UNC fans to show up based on distance, but with a long tradition of losing, odds are they won’t, especially with numerous players (16 +/-) being tentatively suspended for the season opener. Corch Les Miles will be able to win this tight match up with a more experienced team as a whole, over the few talented pieces that have “bought” into Butch Davis of UNC. LSU -6.5
Northwestern -4.5 (44.5) @. Vandy: Northwestern was surprisingly decent last year and Vandy disappeared, I don’t even know if they were on TV. It’s odd that a mediocre Big Ten(12) team would be a favorite on the road so we have to dive deeper into, “why come?” Holy SHIAT, Vandy went 2-10 last year (0-8 in conf). NW does have some injuries on the defensive end which is probably why the line is at 4 and a hook. But with a QB who has game experience, I’m picking Lake the Post of the shoreline Wildcatz! NW -4.5
Michigan (MICH!) -3 (54) vs. Uconn: I am not going to bet on this game unless it’s the OVER/UNDER because I will be in attendance, and I really want to see a MICH victory. But, the Over is so very juicy. It’s like a perfectly cooked Beef Bri$ket. Two teams. One with a flashy offense (MICH), another with a decent offense (Uconn) going up against a shiat canned secondary. Please MICH WIN. PLEASE. OVER 54
Parlay Cards: $10 to win $62 on each
| MICH vs. Uconn | Over 54 |
| Northwestern | -4.5 |
| Texas vs. Rice | Over 57 |
| Texas vs. Rice | -30.5 |
| LSU | -6.5 |
| Alabama vs. SJS | Under 51.5 |
You May Also Like:
- Michigan/Michigan State: Why The Wolverines Will Win (October 14, 2011)
Nothing like starting the season 0-6. SHIAT